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The Bachelorette Season 11, Episode 1, Part 2: Recap

HERE BE SPOILERS:

In walks Chris Harrison, dapper and with bold determination. He breaks the news to Britt quite harshly in my opinion, but bitch deserves it. Kaitlyn is officially our new bachelorette!tumblr_inline_nl00plp46f1t4igw7 gfdym

Kaitlyn looks astounded. “I feel wrong being this excited.” No, this opportunity was yours from the get-go. You go, girl. Now let the games begin! Kaitlyn is surprised when she finds out that she still has to do a rose ceremony tonight. Chris tells her, “you’re The Bachelorette. That’s your job.” Her job, America.kaitlyn

The weirdest thing about Britt going home is that some of the guys had already told her that they came here for her. There’s a lot of guilt going on here with the guys. I’m not into these mind games. Now what do they? Stay there and get to know Kaitlyn or leave and go find Britt? Before the rose ceremony, I would have said that the honorable option for these men would be to leave and pursue Britt. Or just go home and avoid the awkwardness of trying to show your interest in Kaitlyn after you’ve already said you came here for Britt.

So Kaitlyn continues the cocktail party and gets to know the guys a little bit better for her first rose ceremony. Joshua gave Kaitlyn his welded rose. Joshua is heart eye emoji. This move should have gotten him the first impression rose. The men seem to be quite pleased with their new bachelorette. Except for Tony. Poor, poor Tony. He is devastated that Britt has been sent home. He’s speaking in metaphors and I think he never truly understood the concept of this show. Poor guy. The only thing he can’t heal is his own heart.

Screen Shot 2015-05-19 at 10.30.11 PM
This is his picture from the actual Bachelorette cast bios on ABC

JJ is proving himself to me. He seems to be a sweetheart and he and Kaitlyn get along well. Dentist Chris is the first one to kiss her! Shawn swoops in afterwards and puts on the moves. Kaitlyn creepily says, “kissing Shawn is like kissing a guy in…elementary school.” No! That doesn’t sound like a good thing, girl! There are so many ways that could go wrong. And then he gets the first impression rose. Nah, I’m not feeling it. He’s still sketchy to me.

During the rose ceremony, the Jimmy Fallon lookalike (Brady) pulls Kaitlyn aside to talk for a moment. During the rose ceremony, bud? This better be good. The other guys are not happy about, understandably. Kaitlyn returns and tells us that our songbird is leaving. He loves Britt too much. So basically, Brady SUCKS. I no longer consider this the honorable option, mostly because now we have to see more of Britt. Of course Chris Harrison is helping Brady find her, ever the hero. After the credits we see Britt sitting in her hotel room the next morning. She is still crying. We’ll see her in the next episode fall madly in love with Brady. How do I know this? Because Britt loves everyone and everything. And if it doesn’t work, she can always go back to Iowa and watch another sunset to figure out her next career move. Screen Shot 2015-05-18 at 10.50.02 PM

What I do like about this season is that these men actually did choose her. Most times the guys say that they wanted that specific girl but I don’t necessarily buy that. They just wanted a girl. These guys voted for her and stuck around for her. I like that. Cheers, Kaitlyn! I wish you a love like Sean and Catherine’s.SEAN LOWE, CATHERINE GIUDICI

Coming up on this season of The Bachelorette:

-Clint looks like he may kill someone. Be it in a wrestling ring or in a sumo diaper.nick-v
-NICK IS BACK. If you looked up “fuckboy” in the dictionary, you wouldn’t actually find anything because it’s stupid, made up word. However, if it was a word, this would be the picture next to it. To me, Nick coming back for this season is a super sleazy move. He never knew Kaitlyn, so it is not like he even has a reason to come back. He just doesn’t realize that his 15 minutes were up a long time ago.
-Homegirl had some sex! She admits her mistake to the guys, too. Honestly, good for her. I just hope it wasn’t Nick and we won’t have to sit through another, “I you weren’t in love with me why did you make love to me?” conversation.
-Ian(?) leaves in frustration after slut-shaming Kaitlyn
-Tony leaves as he has been cast as The Phantom of the Opera (not really, but he could totally pull it off)

Who’s Gonna Last? (My predictions, not spoilers.)

Ben H.
Chris
Joshua
Shawn B.
Ian

Here’s some extra Sean and Catherine perfection, as well as a link to Sean’s blog where he explains why this two-bachelorette format was a confidence crusher for the girls. sean-lowe-catherine-wedding-waiting-for-marriage-ftr rs_600x600-140214160753-600-catherine-sean-lowe-instagram.ls.21414 article-2546032-1AF626EC00000578-11_634x629

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