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The Strangest Week In Bachelorette History

HERE BE SPOILERS

Well, 13 out of 15 guys hate Clint. Kaitlyn is taking the advice of these smart men because WOW. She is a fantastic bachelorette (for now). She sends Clint home and I’m pretty sure we’ll never see a rose ceremony again. She apologizes to everyone for another dramatic night. Now we just need JJ to go home. I’m not even going to comment on JJ and Clint’s expletive-filled encounter because it was so staged and it is not worth my time. I will say though, Clint leaves and JJ is seen keeling over in sadness and he is sobbing while you hear the laughs of the other bachelors coming from the house. It was fantastic. Back in the house, the longest cocktail party ever is still happening. Now I’m not one to talk bad about Chris Harrison, but the fact that he let Kaitlyn get away from this night without a rose ceremony is bullshit. The guys aren’t excited because they are rational human beings (aside from being on a dating show) and want JJ to go home. Unfortunately, we have at least one more week with this jerk and he is heading to NYC with the rest of the group.FullSizeRender

The first group date goes to JJ, Shawn, Ryan, Jonathan, Justin, Corey, Tanner, and Ben Z. The “greatest entertainer of all time” is helping the boys with a rap battle for this date. My question is who the hell is Dougie Fresh? Or is it Doug E. Fresh? I don’t know. Should I know this? Anyway, the battle starts and there is mother-effing Nick in the audience. No no no. Corey did the best during the rap battle because he called out JJ for being the worst and he was wearing a costume. But apparently none of this matters because Kaitlyn cares more about visiting with Nick, her “bff from social media.” Nick claims that the idea of her getting engaged without him getting the chance to meet her bugged him. So now we have two jerks! This is just the most dramatic season in Bachelorette history, is it not?

But hey Kaitlyn, do you remember how mad all the girls on your season (and possibly you) were when Chris considered bringing Jordan back? People were hurt and offended. You are doing this to these guys and it’s not right. So far Kaitlyn been a super cool, laid back, and down to earth bachelorette. It is all downhill from here, but she probably know that already. The guys all know what a jerk Nick is. They watched Andi’s season. Didn’t Kaitlyn? Good for the guys for questioning Kaitlyn’s confidence in them. This is their season, and much more this is their group date and Kaitlyn is being selfish. Obviously, the rest of the group date is awkward. The guys have mixed feelings about Nick, but they are mostly unhappy, and rightfully so. Justin got the group date rose, and he is the one who told Kaitlyn that he doesn’t care if Nick moves in. It is a meaningless rose, as he will 100% be sent home before Nick now. Screen Shot 2015-06-08 at 9.31.14 PMScreen Shot 2015-06-08 at 8.46.40 PM

Jared the cubism painting got the one-on-one date this week. Ashley S. does Kaitlyn’s hair for the date and Kaitlyn ASKS HER FOR LIFE ADVICE. The universe plays a sick joke on all of us and Ashley’s advice was to reject Nick. But, she is Ashley S. and who is going to listen to that crazy bitch? Welcome to the team, Nick. But enough about this jerk (for now), this is Jared’s date. You wouldn’t know it though, because Kaitlyn can’t focus on him at all. He wrote her the cutest little poem and obviously got a rose. He told Kaitlyn, “as long as I’m with you, I’ll go anywhere.” He has fallen in love with her. Jared, be careful.

Ian, Chris, Joe, Jtumblr_npnlvqvNBO1rt54ixo1_250oshua, and Ben H. get the second group date this week. The boys experienced Broadway up close and personal. Tony would have loved this date. Joe was terrified. Cupcake said dance isn’t his thing, but he’s sung A Whole New World in the shower before. This has been by far the most entertaining date to watch. One only guy on this date will be able to perform on stage with Kaitlyn tonight and they all want it bad so they don’t have to go back to the hotel and be around Nick. Cupcake gets the gig and the other guys are pretty upset because they get jipped on one-on-one time. They didn’t miss too much though. Kaitlyn and Cupcake got on stage, held some flowers, and were quickly escorted off of the stage. To end the night, they went to the “sacred center point of the universe,” the location of the New Year’s Eve ball. Cupcake gets the rose because he is the only guy left on the date.

At the rose ceremony- oh wait. WE DON’T GET A ROSE CEREMONY. This show is getting more and more frustrating.

My final comment on the Nick situation is just that it is irritating because if she wasn’t on the show would he still have sought her out? Probably not. Or, maybe he would have and they could have just been in a relationship and left America out of it. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but maybe Britt should have been the bachelorette. Or maybe, I don’t know…I could have done it. Screen Shot 2015-06-08 at 10.35.21 PM

The best part of this episode was probably the teaser that said, “and later…are Britt and Brady still together?” It then cut to a clip of them holding hands, kissing, and running along the beach. Chris Harrison, we aren’t stupid. Well…I guess we did commit to watching this show.

Who’s Gonna Last? (My predictions, not spoilers.)

Ben H.
Cupcake
Joshua
Shawn
Ian

What do YOU think though? Who should be going home when we are old and gray and finally see another rose ceremony? Do you think Kaitlyn should have sent Nick home? Are you a decent human being? Let’s chat.

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