HERE BE SPOILERS
Well everyone, it’s back! Our favorite train wreck, guilty pleasure, reality tv fix premiered tonight and it did not disappoint. I think it’s going to be a great season, so let’s dive right in. Shall we?
The Ladies (Who Are Sticking Around For Week 2)
Amanda: Tiny, cute, little thing. She is a mother of two and has an unfortunately mousey voice. She’s a good egg though.
Amber: She’s back, y’all. She and Becca are back for another shot at love with a small town man. When Becca walked in, Ben immediately recognized her. I’m not quite sure he knew who Amber was, but that’s okay, I didn’t either. Sorry, girl!
Becca: Can I just say I’m so glad she didn’t come back and say, “I’m not longer a virgin and I’m ready for round two!”
Caila: Adorable and in the same career path as Ben, which they both appreciated. The red-flag with her as that she supposedly watched Ben on Kaitlyn’s season and was so in love that she broke up with her longterm boyfriend for him. Yikes.
Emily and Haley: These poor girls are being lumped together be me and the rest of Bachelor Nation. Their occupation is literally listed as “twins.” Personally, I don’t like them, but every girl is intimidated by them and Ben seems to like them so I’m sure they’ll stick around for a while.
Jackie: Homegirl seemed fine for a second, but then gave Ben a Save The Date…for them. Weird. I know sometimes people have a weird introduction and then end up being completely normal and awesome, but this is just too much for me.
Jami: The first thing she said to Ben was that she was Canadian and therefore knew Kaitlyn, who had told her all about him. Either it worked or he was scared. Jami stayed.
Jennifer: I’m going to be honest, I do not remember this girl. I finished watching a little over an hour ago and I straight up do not remember anything about her. This could be a good thing though. Fly under the radar and stay out of drama, girl.
Joelle “JoJo”: So far, she is my favorite. She had a cute introduction and nice conversation with Ben, and didn’t seem to have anything negative to say about the other girls.
Jubilee: I respect that she is a war veteran, but she didn’t make a great impression on me. I feel like Ben needs someone a little less intense and maybe not with a visible chest tattoo.
Lace: Ugh, this girl is RUDE. First of all, she kissed Ben right away. When she asked for another kiss later at the party, the poor guy had to explain to her that he’s trying to get to know 25 girls and she should stop acting to desperate…he may have said it a little bit differently. Second, she made the classic mistake of drinking waaaaay to much on the first night. I get that this is probably easy because these people are up from dusk till dawn having the world’s most nerve-wracking cocktail party, but Lace’s mother should have taught her that if she didn’t have something nice to say, she shouldn’t say anything. There were far too many comments from her about the appearance of the other girls, how she felt like no one was competition for her, and how Ben wasn’t paying enough attention to her. She even had the nerve to pull him away FOUR times to talk to him, one of which was after she got her rose. She told him that he didn’t make eye contact with her and that if he wanted her to go home, she would. Again, this was literally right after he had just handed her a rose. She’s got a screw loose. Caila referred to her as “50 shades of crazy.”
Lauren “LB”: She is another nice, normal seeming girl. I think it’s good right now to not have a lot to say about someone. That means they haven’t screwed anything up!
Lauren B.: This Lauren is a flight attendant and she was the first out of the limo. She gave Ben some wings and I thought it was very cute.
Lauren H.: Shoutout to the mitten state! This Lauren is a teacher in my home district and that’s really all I could focus on. She and all of the other Laurens are all playing it safe right now.
Leah: She had a really pretty sparkly dress and played football with Ben. I thought she would get the first impression rose.
Mandi: This horrifying dentist (who gave Ben an dental exam after pulling him away from everyone the second he walked in to say hello) showed up with a giant rose hat that she made herself and that everyone seemed to have a problem with. While I definitely think she’s a bit nutty, I liked her hat.
Olivia: She got the first impression rose after a nice conversation with Ben. It wasn’t too much of a surprise, but I think he may regret this decision later based on what the preview for the rest of the season showed. She seems to cause a lot of drama.
Rachel: This is another girl who is a bit forgettable, but again, it’s only the first week.
Samantha: This Grace Helbig lookalike is another one of my favorites. She kept her cool when one of the contestant’s mini horse was stepping on her dress…you can’t make this stuff up, people.
Sushanna: I’m not 100% sure that this girl speaks English. She spoke only Russian the entire episode, but her bio says she’s from Salt Lake City. I lived there for nine years and I don’t speak a lick of Russian. What gives?
And there it is, folks! The 21 ladies that Ben Higgins will get to know and love (spoiler alert) over the next couple of months. This week’s episode wasn’t all about them though. There were some lovely moments from the women who were sent home without a rose:
- Breanne saying that gluten was satan. Let me tell you this, Breanne and I would NOT get along.
- Laura (Red Velvet) being sent home despite being an adorable, charismatic, slightly overemotional redhead. She reminded me so much of someone else I know…
- Lauren R. (that’s right. There was a fourth Lauren) telling Ben that she has stalked him on social media for two months and ignoring him both times he asked for her name.
- Tiara’s introduction…this girl is a chicken enthusiast. That is her occupation. She is enthused by chickens. So much so that she has framed pictures of them on a dresser next to a framed picture she also has of Ben. Completely normal.
I don’t know about you, but I am stoked for the rest of the season. I love Mondays when I know I have The Bachelor to look forward to. It’s kind of sick. There was a whole lot of crying and drama and a BLACK EYE in the preview though. It’s going to be great. Bring it on!
Who’s Gonna Last? (My predictions, not spoilers…except last time I was right)
What do YOU think? Who are the producer picks? Is Lace going to be the mean girl or will it be Olivia? Who punches Leah in the face? Why are we all still watching? Let me know in the comments! See you next week!