the bachelor

Sorry I Napped

I’m having some major issues with this season. It’s not with Corinne’s antics or how much Nick loves to kiss or how Taylor can’t butt out of drama. No, it is instead with this screen.Screen Shot 2017-01-24 at 7.29.30 PM.png

Without this, I would have known for the last three weeks who does not receive a rose at the end of the episode. Instead, I am left to guess and lock in my picks for my fantasy league without any reassurance that the girl I think will get the group date rose even made it past the last rose ceremony. This was the case with this week’s episode. I had Brittany locked in to be getting a rose on a date that was “not meant for a princess.” Unfortunately, she was not among Nick’s picks from the post-pool party rose ceremony. The girls who walked away with roses were Danielle L., Vanessa, Raven, Taylor, Whitney, Kristina, Jasmine, Alexis, Astrid, Danielle M., Jaimi, Josephine, Sarah, and Corinne.

Vanessa almost gave Nick the rose back after seeing how he was encouraging Corinne’s behavior. I can’t say I blame her. Even after being confronted by Taylor and Sarah, this girl just will not stop. Corinne makes for great tv. You can’t stop watching because you don’t want to miss what stupid thing comes out of her mouth next. I understand that this is a television show, but I just wish everyone would ignore her. Don’t talk to her and don’t talk about her. Spend your time with Nick focusing on YOUR relationship with him. Has no one learned anything from 21 seasons of this show?!giphy-1

This week Chris Harrison told the bachelorettes that they were starting their journey around this beautiful world. First stop: Milwaukee! Nick met with his parents where is father told him “Do you think that enough is enough and you’re ready to find love and not be on this show anymore?” Just think about your child being a part of this franchise four separate times. Nick’s mom was crying during this conversation. She said it was because she loves him and wants him to find a wife, but I think it’s because she’s watched him make a fool out of himself on this show. Or maybe it’s because he says things like “you’re making me all sad.”giphy-3

When the girls met up with Nick in his hometown of Waukesha, he sent all but Danielle L. to go and sit in their luxury Waukeshan mansion. He and Danielle L. went on an incredibly awkward and formal one-on-one date where they decorated sugar cookies to look like themselves, casually ran into one of Nick’s exes, and saw the spots where he had rounded the bases with girls from his high school. How fun and not at all strange for Danielle L! This date bothered me because I had thought that this couple was one of the stronger ones. In fact, I have her winning it all in my fantasy league. But this date made their relationship seem forced- almost as if they were both on a television show and under pressure to find their soulmate. It was awkward. She laughed at almost everything he said and he is really not that funny. Whatever they are doing together, it’s working. They ended the night dancing on stage at a Chris Lane concert, rose in hand.giphy-4

The group date was for Rachel, Alexis, Vanessa, Jasmine, Jaimi, Sarah, Whitney, Kristina, Astrid, Taylor, Josephine, Danielle M., and Corinne. As you know, Nick is a farmer? He and the girls went to a farm to milk cows and scoop poop and such. As you can imagine, Corinne was thrilled. Again, they key to these dates to embrace the activity and have fun with the day! I know these girls are on a “journey” and everything, but they’re there to impress. Scoop that poop like you’ve never done anything more exciting in your life. Be like Jaimi. She walked right up to the cow and milked it. She’s not my favorite this season but definitely had the best attitude on this part of the date. Corinne had to give up on farm chores because her fingers got cold. Later that evening, it was Kristina’s turn to confront her. While I’m still against this strategy, Kristina was a badass. Not only did she just come off of a great conversation with Nick, she totally put Corinne in her place. I will absolutely think of this moment the next time I have to deal with someone like Corinne. To make great drama even better, Nick gave Kristina the group date rose.giphy

The second one-on-one this week was for Raven. Dates in hometowns are important. This is real stuff. No helicopters or boats with built-in hot tubs. Nick and Raven went to his little sister’s soccer game to hang out for a little bit, and then joined her and her team for some roller skating. It was absolutely freaking adorable. Raven and Bella (Nick’s sister) chatted for a bit while Nick skated by like he was on the best date of his life. At dinner that night, Raven told Nick that she caught her previous boyfriend cheating on her. Seems like a classic Bachelor story, right? Well Raven kicked down a freaking door and hit this dude in the head with a stiletto! Nick gave her a rose. It might have been out of fear, it might have been out of love. Either way, they put the skates back on and enjoyed their super cool dinner venue.giphy-2

At this midwestern cocktail party, the girls argued around a bonfire. Taylor, who can’t seem to stay out of anyone’s business, was angry that Danielle L. stole Nick away first because she already had a rose. She shortly forgot about that and focused her energy on educating Corinne on her emotional intelligence- or lack thereof. She honestly said to her, “My concern is that you are not in a place to enter a healthy relationship.” Ummm, I’m pretty sure you’re all on The Bachelor so none of you really are in a super healthy place! Of course, right when things were getting good, the episode ended. So again, I will make next week’s fantasy league picks blindly. Wish me luck!giphy-5

Who’s Gonna Last? (My predictions, not spoilers.)
Danielle L.
Danielle M.
Rachel
Liz
Raven

So, what do YOU think? Will Corinne’s “platinum vagine” comment be left out of the show and live forever in a teaser? Will Taylor and Corinne have to go on a two-on-one? What boring location will they travel to next? Let me know in the comments!

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