the bachelor

A Masters Degree In Love

Remember when Leah told Ben that Lauren B. was mean or “not here for the right reasons” or some other catty lie? Did no one learn from that moment when Leah went home that week and Lauren received the final rose? If I were on the show, my goal would be to stay out of the drama. Even before finding love I would just want to be a fan favorite. I could find a much more meaningful love in-between posting sponsored pictures on Instagram and making bank. Perhaps I could even stay friend with my bachelor by ensuring I used my time with him wisely and didn’t talk smack about other girls. Unfortunately, the girls who go on this show are more interested in love and good television than they are reading my blogs.

Not that Corinne’s current antics aren’t working for her, but she should totally heed my advice. Before the rose ceremony (remember, To Be Continued…), Corinne decided to tell Nick that Taylor was a mean and horrible person who, obviously, “is not here for the right reasons.” Because Nick is new to this show and has never seen anything like this before, he thanks Corinne for her honesty and the two happily smashed their faces together. Kristina and Raven already had their roses and Whitney, Danielle M., Jasmine, Rachel, Jaimi, Josephine, Alexis, Corinne, Danielle L., and Taylor also received them that night. But enough of this cold Wisconsin BS, let’s move on to New Orleans!

The first date in Louisiana is a one-on-one with Rachel. I probably say this about every cute date, but these dates are my favorite. Nick and Rachel just strolled around town, ate beignets, shopped, and danced in a parade. Dates like this seem real and cute and now I want to go to New Orleans! The only thing I didn’t like about this date was the fact that Rachel told Nick that she calls her dad, who is a federal judge, “daddy.” I know every family is different, but you probably shouldn’t call your dad “daddy” if you’re over the age of 8- especially to someone like Nick. He looked a little too into it and told her that he really likes her and can’t wait to meet her family. I like them! I want to edit my final picks in the fantasy league and put her in there instead of the two girls I picked who have gone home, but I digress. Rachel received a rose.giphy-1

Josephine, Kristina, Alexis, Raven, Jaimi, Vanessa, Danielle M., Danielle L., Whitney, and Jasmine joined Nick at a haunted house for this week’s group date. Surprisingly enough, it wasn’t even the scariest thing that happened this week! More on that later. The preview for this date looked more exciting than it actually was. It was clearly a very scripted haunted house, and they could have instead visited the mansion from American Horror Story: Coven for a much creepier experience. The girls did dabble with the ouija board though, and I would be completely against that. Even if people were just asking “Will Nick get engaged soon?” and “Did Michael Jackson really touch those kids?” Nope. You do not mess around with one of those. In-between ghost hunting, Nick met with each girl for a little bit of romance. Jaimi’s hometown is New Orleans and I thought she and Nick had a great connection on this date, but Danielle M. was the one who took home the group date rose. giphy-2

The third date this week was the infamous two-on-one. To everyone’s shock, Corinne and Taylor were picked to meet Nick on the bayou an afternoon of cattiness. If Wells Adams’ had done his commentary over Snapchat this week, he definitely would’ve told you to drink every time Taylor mentioned her master’s degree and her emotional intelligence. To put things in perspective, these girls are the same age and are looking for love on the same television show. Neither of them are better than the other. Both girls had their tarot cards read while the other was having her alone time with Nick. While Corinne told him that Taylor called her stupid, Taylor was being told that she is emotionally intelligent (drink) and how the fact that she’s a water sign fits her personality. Corinne was given a voodoo doll after her reading. The worst part of this date was when Nick was deliberating and these two women were just tearing each other apart! I’ll give it to them that some of the points they were making were valid, but it was a little hard to watch. It also was worthless because only one woman was going home with a rose. That woman was Corinne!

Corinne and Nick left Taylor sitting alone in the woods, one of my favorite Bachelor traditions, to go enjoy the rest of the day together. Once night had fallen Taylor finally emerged and went to the camp where the tarot cards lady and the voodoo doll makers cleansed her with water as she repeated a mantra that went something like, “I am the water sign. I am emotionally intelligent.” This was absolutely freakier than anything in the haunted house. When she was done with her ceremony, she went off to find Nick again. She is not done with him.giphy

Unforunately, will have to wait until next week to see what she says because that is how this show works now.giphy-5

Who’s Gonna Last? (My predictions, not spoilers.)
Danielle L.
Danielle M.
Rachel
Liz
Raven

So, what do YOU think? Will Taylor sabotage the rest of Nick and Corinne’s date? Will Nick end up sending Corinne packing too? How is Josephine still here? Will we ever see a rose ceremony at the end of an episode again? Let me know in the comments!

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