the bachelorette

Waka Waka Fart Joke

And we’re back! Thank goodness. I could hardly sleep all week not knowing where DeMario and Rachel stand…just kidding. But I was anxious to know who goes home, as it messes with my fantasy bracket. Last season I was picking girls to get date roses not knowing they had been sent home at during the previous rose ceremony. That doesn’t make me look good, Mike Fleiss.

  1. Did DeMario get another chance? NO. We’ve already established that Rachel is a badass Bachelorette who don’t need no man. He told her that he can’t let her go and she said she needed him to move forward and out of the mansion. Mr. Harrison agrees.

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2. Bryan, Bryce, Eric, Anthony, Will, Jonathan, Jack, Matt, Alex, Adam, Kenny, Brady, Lee, Iggy, Fred, and Diggy got roses at the ceremony, which means we had to say goodbye to both Lucas and Blake. Their departure may have been the most entertaining moment on The Bachelor(ette) since Ashley and Kelsey’s 2-on-1 date. Blake should have just left and accepted that he was there for no better reasons than Lucas was, but instead he went up to him and told him what we were all thinking…

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“Hey Lucas, f**k you, bro.”

 

3. I have never seen two grown men act this much like children. It was incredible. I really really want to see these two in paradise. I think they will both show a different side and hopefully find love there. Oh yeah, I fell right into this producer picked trap.

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“waKa WAka fARt JokE” is a real thing that Blake said to Lucas

4. The first group date this week was for Jonathan, Bryan, Peter, Alex, Will, and Fred. Rachel and her dates went to The Ellen Show. Ellen’s first order of business was to tickle Jonathan. Good. Homeboy needs to know that that’s creepy. What is his real job anyway? giphy-35. Because it’s Ellen, the guys were expected to dance. And because it’s The Bachelorette, they all had to do it with their shirts off. Some were more into it than others (I’m looking at you, Alex). Personally, I would be a little hesitant of the guy who is really good at this and feeling comfortable with it. I know it’s Ellen and not a skeezy bar, but why are you so cool with dancing shirtless on top of a bunch of women? I know last week I said get into it and just have fun, but basketball is different than lap dances. giphy-46. Ellen had the guys play what turned out to be an incredibly awkward game of Never Have I Ever. Poor Jonathan, Alex, and Fred learned that the other dudes on the date had already kissed Rachel. Bryan made it very clear that he was the first one because it’s a competition…oh wait. Later in the evening Rachel kissed the other guys for the first time and ended up sending Fred home afterward. She just still couldn’t see him as anything but the boy from camp. Alex ended up with the date rose.

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This was either “Never Have I Ever hooked up with someone twice my age”

7. Anthony and Rachel had a 1-on-1 date this week and headed down Rodeo Drive on horses. Get it? They took this gag pretty far because they walked into a few stores on the horses and one of them had an accident because they’re horses and they don’t belong in a fancy store on Rodeo Drive. Anthony got a date rose from Rachel.giphy8. The second group date was for Brady, Dean, Adam, Kenny, Bryce, Lee, Jack, and Eric. Rachel thought it would be a good idea to bring four of her single friends to meet all of her desperate suitors and have them plan their date.

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Oh good, Corinne is back…again.

9. The girls chose a mud wrestling date which is super fun and not at all scary considering Kenny is a professional wrestler. Surprisingly, Bryce won the showdown but we still got to see Kenny in his comfort zone. Rachel seemed impressed.giphy-610. The drama on this date came from Lee, Bryce, and Eric. Rachel’s friends were asking which guy seemed to be a red flag, not here-for-the-right-reasons type. Brady and Bryce both said Eric and word got back to him. He did not like this and the episode ended with him yelling at everyone for talking about him during their time with Rachel. Eric, I totally get it and I absolutely see your point. Maybe lower your voice and just take the high road though. I don’t see all of this yelling ending well for you. But we won’t know until next week…To Be Continued.giphy-8Hey, unfinished episodes, you’re messing with my fantasy league. Stop this. Give us back our rose ceremonies.giphy-5

Who’s Gonna Last? (My predictions, not spoilers.)
Dean
Peter
Kenny
Anthony
Matt

So, what do YOU think? Would you have given DeMario another chance? Do you want to see Lucas and Blake on Bachelor in Paradise? Do you think Eric has ulterior motives? Did I use that Spongebob meme correctly? Let me know in the comments!

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One thought on “Waka Waka Fart Joke

  1. I think she was right sending DeMario home, however, I didn’t really like the way she did it. My heart breaks for Fred. I love Kenny. If I never see Blake and Lucas again, even in Paradise, I’ll be happy. I do not think Eric has ulterior motives. I think he’s panicking in this situation and Iggy and Lee are jerks for backstabbing and lying to him. See you next week!!

    Like

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