Here go y’all. Welcome to Janu-Arie. I’m so s-arie that this recap is a little late. I was in M-arie-land. Okay, I’m done with that now. Probabl-arie.
Also! It’s not too late to join my fantasy league! I’m considering giving a prize even. We’ll see…join here.
You’ve probably already met Arie’s bachelorettes in the numerous articles introducing them, so I’ll just make a few notes with my observations.
– Valerie, a 25-year-old marketing coordinator and social media manager and waitress at a Twin Peaks restaurant in Nashville, TN. I don’t have much more to say about this gal without being mean and that’s not why we’re here. Moving on!
– Tia, a 26-year-old physical therapist from Weiner, AR. Tia is good friends with Raven and pretty much for that reason alone I see her going far. She’s cute and fun like Raven and I wouldn’t be surprised to see her being the runner-up. But don’t quote me on that…yet.
– Lauren B., a 25-year-old saleswoman from Dallas, TX. We didn’t get a huge intro to Lauren B. this week, but I have faith in her for being another Lauren B.
– Jenna, a 28-year-old social media manager from Upland, IN. Homegirl is a little energetic. She was all over the place and gave Arie a foot massage which he didn’t seem super into.
– Maquel, a 23-year-old photographer, from Utah. Maquel arrived in a little go-kart thing and the rest of the girls were very jealous or threatened by this. She also stirred up some drama by being the first girl to steal Arie away from another girl. It seems like that is going to be a big problem.
– Jenny Delaney, a 25-year-old graphic design artist from Chicago, IL. She drew Arie a picture of himself and it was really good but I wish it would have been more like this.
– Seinne Fleming, a 27-year-old assistant property manager from Orange County, CA. I have nothing to report on Seinne yet.
– Lauren G., a 26-year-old recruiter from Indianapolis, IN. Lauren told Arie to close his eyes and open his mouth which is a horrible thing to ask someone to do and an even worse thing to oblige.
– Lauren J., a 33-year-old from Baton Rouge, LA. The third Lauren is from Louisiana. That’s about it so far.
– Bibiana, a 30-year-old executive assistant from Miami, FL. She seems like she’s going to be a shit-starter. Just a little bit dramatic based on the preview…
– Becca K., a 27-year-old senior account executive from Minneapolis, MN. Becca is my favorite and front-runner. She had Arie get down on bended knee and say “let’s do the damn thing.” If we see Arie do this again in March, I will be so so so happy.
– Kendall, a 26-year-old set dresser from Los Angeles, CA. Kendall is a little out there. When we first met her she was singing a song to a taxidermized seal. I’m hoping she’s just one of those people who seems crazy at first but turns into a favorite. Or at least a normal person.
– Ashley, a 25-year-old real estate agent from West Palm Beach, FL. She brought Arie a flag and said she hopes she makes it to the finish line. Pretty cute.
– Caroline, a 25-year-old realtor from Ft. Lauderdale, FL. I do not like this girl. When she was talking about how excited she was that Arie was The Bachelor (were you really?) she said “I grew up around cars, so.” I translated it to “we had a car growing up.” Not a fan.
– Marikh, a 27-year-old director of social branding Salt Lake City, UT. Marikh said she owns a restaurant with her mom, which I took to mean her mom owns a restaurant.
– Bekah M., a 22-year-old nanny from Fresno, CA. This girl has some Kelsey (Chris’ season) vibes and I hope I’m right about that from an entertainment standpoint. Bekah drove up in a “cherry red Mustang” and wouldn’t let anyone forget about it. She also askwed Arie, “what are 3 things that make you excited about life?” Arie answered, “being excited.” Umm…
– Krystal, a 29-year-old fitness coach from Montana. I think I like Krystal. She was a little irritating but I think it will be charming. The weirdest thing about her is that she kept congratulating Arie when he was asking her about herself.
– Annaliese, a 32-year-old event designer from Northern California. She showed up as the Kissing Bandit, payign homage to Arie’s nickname from Emily’s season.
– Chelsea, a 29-year-old administrative assistant from Portland, ME. She’s our token no-one-is-competition-and-everyone-here-is-inferior-to-me girl. She was the first to wisk Arie away for one-on-one time, which is honorable, but also the first to steal him away for a second time. She also looks a lot like Olivia (Ben’s season). Unfortunately, she recieved the first impression rose.
– Lauren S., a 31-year-old social media manager for AT&T from Dallas, TX. She’s the fourth Lauren. This will be hard to keep track of. I favored the first one simply because she came first in the alphabet and that’s not fair to any of them but that’s how it is.
– Brittany, a 30-year-old tech recruiter from Columbia, South Carolina. She was cool. She didn’t seem super sure about everything but I wasn’t surprised that she got a rose.
– Jacqueline, a 26-year-old clinical research coordinator New York, NY. I like Jacqueline a lot. She seems really sweet and kind and her first conversation with Arie felt deep and meaningful. I’d like to see her go far.
And that’s them! Hopefully you stuck with me through these introductions, and I’ll be back Tuesday with my Top Ten List style recap. Who is excited?
Who’s Gonna Last? (My predictions, not spoilers, and in no particular order.)
So what did YOU think? Did you favorite get snubbed? Who isn’t here for the right reasons? Do you have early favorites? Let me know in the comments!